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A Mini Nightmare

My poor Sexy Nerd.

He was so happy to get his Mini Cooper. Although it was supposedly perfect when he bought it, he immediately devoted his time and money to making it even better with decals, new premium oil (though the dealership had just changed the oil), and a clear bra.

As a side note, searching online for a “clear bra” made him very uncomfortable. (So he says!)

Sadly, Sexy Nerd’s newly purchased Mini Cooper isn’t running. He spent all weekend working on it. Just as he was ready to put it back together, one of the bolts broke. You can just run down to any parts store and pick up another bolt, right? Nope! Mini bolts can only be replaced with Mini bolts. The Mini dealership was closed (of course!) leaving Sexy Nerd out of luck. Now, he won’t have time to fix his car until next weekend.

A lot of good your fancy Hella racing lights are going to do you now, Sexy Nerd. 

I feel bad for him. Really, I do. My pre-buying research showed that Consumer Reports warned against buying a Mini Cooper, but what does Consumer Reports know? Technically, Sexy Nerd could have bought a brand-new car with a warranty for less money, but whatever. I’m not even going to say I told you so.

Oops! That doesn’t count.

Did I mention that the loan guy at the dealership joked with us about how Mini Coopers are maintenance nightmares? He said he wouldn’t let his wife buy one because a Mini Cooper is a money pit. Funny enough, this was before we’d completed our purchase. Can you imagine how upset the salesman would have been if that guy had cost him the sale? Especially as it was the salesman’s birthday (I thought it was just a sales trick at the time, but he showed me his ID) and I had already frustrated him by wheeling and dealing my way to well below the KBB value. The deal was closed with my hand on the doorknob to leave the dealership.

Hands to his head, saying AAAARGH!

Also, the loan guy told us that he would save his little dog, Gucci, before he would save his wife from being hit by a bus. An odd thing to randomly tell a stranger, isn’t it? When weird things like that happen, it's a sign from the universe not to buy the car. My Chevy Volt is stuck in the driveway for now while our new $15,000 paperweight sprawls out in the garage.

I told you so.

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