Good Deed Gone Awry

I've been having a lazy holiday weekend and haven't left the house since Thursday. Heck, I've barely even changed out of my pajamas. As you may recall, Sexy Nerd has no respect for a lazy, pajama-wearing afternoon (especially not when that afternoon stretches into 3 consecutive days), so he ditched me to go sort through rocks on our lot.

Well, I decided I'd finally had enough of being a lazy bum. In fact, I decided to drive up to our lot and surprise Sexy Nerd with a picnic lunch of Subway sandwiches! Best wife ever? Obviously.

I got myself gussied up, complete with head-to-toe sunscreen and the perfect outfit for 4th of July weekend.

Then I opened the garage door...

Apparently, this is the face I make when I am trapped.

We were going to buy an automatic Mini Cooper, non-negotiable. But then Sexy Nerd fell in love with this one, even though it's not an automatic and even though it was the only one he looked at. I pleaded with him to be reasonable, but he said a manual transmission would be fine because he was going to teach me how to drive it. Years later and only one lesson under my belt, I guess that's not going to happen.

Not ready to give up, I decided to Austin Powers my car dilemma and finagle the Volt around the Mini Cooper, however many times it took to pull forward and back up. I moved all the obstacles from the garage. There was plenty of space! Surely, I would not damage both of our cars simultaneously. Surely, the neighbors would not all have a good laugh. Surely.

Isn't it funny how it always looks like there's plenty of space when you're outside the car, but no space whatsoever once you get inside?

Defeated, I closed the garage and returned to my lazy spot in front of the computer. I'd had such high hopes for my romantic surprise. Instead, my day was doomed to be wasted. Sexy Nerd hadn't even replied to my text. I needed some pity food. I needed a tub of ice cream.

This thought did make me feel a bit better, as I recently purchased the BEST. ICE CREAM. EVER. You know how it's impossible to choose the perfect ice cream because you're always sacrificing one delicious option for another? Well, this ice cream has chocolate and Oreos and coffee AND cookie dough! It's called Turkey Hill Double Dunker and it's my ice cream soulmate.

Yes, ice cream was exactly what I needed.

But where is it???

Dying on the inside.

I don't like today.

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Kitty Deschanel

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