Bad Mojo? Bugs Everywhere!

I work in a pediatric dental office. The other day, I was scheduling a patient for their 6-month checkup and the day I'd randomly selected happened to be their birthday.

"Whoops! It seems like I always choose someone's birthday," I laughed. The patient smiled. The patient's mom?

With a scowl, she asked, "Is that because you have bad karma?"

It's a weird thing to say, right? I've known this woman for years. I thought we were on good terms. Fast forward to today and it seems she may have been onto something.

This morning, I ate a mini Twix at work. (Yes, in the morning. Yes, inside a dental office. Hi, my name is Kitty Deschanel and I'm a sugar-holic.) It was especially chocolatey on the bottom, which at first I just thought of as yay, lucky me. Do you see the problem here? I've devoured (and greedily hoarded/stupidly destroyed) a million of these things and none magically contain extra-chocolate.

It turns out it wasn't chocolate at all. A bug had somehow gotten into the chocolate when it was being manufactured. I crunched it up. I spat it out and the candy had bits of hard, black stuff. I think it may have been a large ant, but who knows? It tasted like pen ink.

When I told my boss, her immediate response was to insist I hold Mars, Inc responsible. I assured her when you eat as much candy as I do, you're bound to come across a bug in your chocolate eventually. Heck, a bug if you're lucky. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

About an hour or so later, I was sitting at my desk and something hit me on the top of my head. Surprised, I reached up for it...

...and discovered that it was an enormous, live cockroach.

Our office doesn't even have cockroaches. And how the heck did one get on the ceiling anyway?

Oh gawd, I hope it wasn't a tiny cockroach inside my candy bar, like a little baby one.

Bad mojo? You can't get much worse mojo than that. Should I maybe buy some smudge sticks or something? I seem to have angered the gods.

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Kitty Deschanel

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