Want to Hear an Embarrassing Story?

Gather 'round, my bloggy friends, and I shall tell you a funny tale of social anxiety, a new job, and pickles.

I have a bad habit of licking my lips when nervous. If you follow me on Facebook and my other social media accounts, you know that I recently left my pediatric dentistry job of 16 years in order to work closer to home. (You also know many more of my embarrassing stories.)

Starting in a new workplace for the first time in my adult life (seriously, I was only 20 when hired at my previous office), I've been understandably nervous. So, I've been licking my lips excessively. Thanks to COVID-19 and a mandatory mask, no one is the wiser.

Actually, I'm sure everyone knows. In the brief maskless moments when I'm sipping water or eating lunch, you can see that my lips are chapped as heck. Stop licking them! Oh, if only I could. I don't even know I'm doing it.

Which brings me to my embarrassing story.

After work yesterday, SN and I were chatting in our kitchen. While I was crunching down on a huge pickle, he gave me a strange look.

"What?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you just use that pickle as a Chapstick?"

He is so judgmental, that husband of mine. Doesn't everyone rub pickles on their lips?

Actually, I hadn't even realized I'd done it. It's like my subconscious thought, Dry, sore lips + quenching, cool pickle = a winning combination that any stork would be proud of. Hey, my crazy brain, wouldn't a salty pickle just make my lips even more dehydrated?

I'm now fully vaccinated against COVID. SN and my parents have received their first dose of the vaccine. It's only a matter of time before guests resume visits and socializing returns. Although the last year has been an introvert's dream (well, in some ways, and a nightmare in others), I clearly need to retrain myself on how to act in public.

Rule #1: Do not apply pickle juice like it's Chapstick.

(At least not when someone is watching.)

I even pose for photos embarrassingly. You can't smell it online, but trust me that my breath is Vlasic fresh.

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